It's Not "Men's Work" vs "Women's Work": It's Just "Work"

Teaching "life-skills" and fostering work ethic in the home not only sets our children up for success in adulthood—it shifts the cultural outlook toward work

It’s almost dazzling how far humans have come since the time of our early ancestors. Never in a million years would our forbearers have predicted the world we live in today—with automobiles and planes, medicine and scientific study. I wonder: what would they think about our computers and screens everywhere you turn? What would they say about the cell phones glued to our hands—a constant distraction amid a frenzied and chaotic world?

As I set about creating a mini-series about work, work ethic and how to include the whole family in your homesteading efforts—I could not ignore the elephant in the room. This piece looks at the relationship between gender and work and how shifting our focus from men’s work vs. women’s work to a “life-skills” mentality will pave the way for a more unified tomorrow…

Photo credit: Pixabay

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In This Post:

Male Privilege
Society Has Moved On
Overworked and Overwhelmed
Get on the Same Page
The Pervasive Disposition of Laziness
Work is NOT Gender Specific
Teach “Life-Skills”
The Bottom-Line
Actionable Tip

Male Privilege

During the days of early man—before we had houses and weapons and agriculture—gender-based work made sense. Back then, women needed men to protect them and their babies. They needed men to do the hunting. We were still evolving and male domination was a natural animal instinct that ensured the survival of our species.

As a woman, I can accept that.

Somewhere along the way, however, that instinct for male domination became twisted into the notion of privilege and that idea has infected society ever since. Entire cultures have been built around the concept of male entitlement and the subjugation of women.

I can even accept that—as part of our history and heritage.

We’ve come a long way from those hunter-gatherer days, however. We’ve evolved and grown over time—developing better houses, fences and walls for protection. We have weapons and tools, culture, society, science and technology, modern medicine and contraceptives—women no longer need men the way they once did.

Yet, that old-school attitude of male privilege persists even in this modern age. It lingers like a hot fart in a crowded room. Everyone can smell it, but no one wants to claim responsibility.

And no where is that stench more overpowering than among wealthy white men. Just look at the White House and unfolding current events.

Society Has Moved On

Just as our capabilities have evolved, so too have our cultures and societies. Those old ideals of domination no longer hold true. We now know that an individual’s competence and skill have nothing to do with their gender, the color of their skin or their sexual preference.

Unfortunately, these wealthy white men cling to their entitlement—partly to line their pockets—but largely because they don’t want to relinquish their perceived power.

And they incite other men—even some women—to do the same. The entire MAGA base is comprised of a portion of the population that clings to a society which no longer exists.

Society has moved on— we’ve grown and evolved.

This is not the same world it was 10,000 years ago. It’s not even the same world it was a hundred years ago!

Regardless of what some people may say about turning back the clock to our former “Golden Age”—we all know there’s no going back. We can’t go back in time to fix our mistakes, nor can we go back in time to relive the perceived “glory days” at the start of the industrial age.

Those days are over, dead and gone.

Photo credit: Pixabay

Overworked and Overwhelmed

Even if women were content to simply stay at home raising babies and taking care of the every need of her man, we can no longer afford to do so. Most of us have to work to support our household.

For women with partners who possess that old-school mentality of male privilege and entitlement, they’re still shouldering the brunt of domestic duties as prescribed by old-world indoctrinations—all while holding down a full-time job. For some, the pressures that come with raising moral and capable children is too much, and they’ve allowed screens to supplement their parenting.

I’m not judging. We all have our limits and I’ve been there.

Women are overworked and overwhelmed, and studies¹ show we are increasingly less willing to shoulder the burden anymore. The institution of marriage is in decline², birth rates are plummeting³ and vast numbers of single women refuse to even entertain the notion of dating⁴.

And yet, politicians are wringing their hands, scheming up new ways to dupe women into having more babies⁵ even as they thumb their nose at women’s health care and civil rights.

It’s time for these men to take a long hard look in the mirror and recognize the need for change and personal growth.

Research done by Claudia Goldin, a Nobel Laureate and professor of economics at Harvard, reveals that in order to stop birth rates from declining, men need to break through traditional gender roles and become more active partners (or just actually become partners). In a presentation on her research last fall, Goldin explained, “Much of the change in fertility will depend on if men assume more work in the home as women are drawn into the market, particularly if the home has children.”

Let’s ignore the fact that our planet is already over-populated and living beyond our means within a finite global system and instead talk about the fact that the burden of responsibility is once again being placed on women.

For thousands of years, men have largely managed to avoid responsibility in conception, with the burden of preventing unwanted pregnancies falling to the woman. They’ve gotten away with shirking domestic duties, using and abusing their women—subjugating them by refusing to allow women’s right to exist in their own autonomy.

The attitude and level of respect shown women is either painfully oblivious or downright derogatory, and it’s no wonder women are fed up with men.

Get On the Same Page

The fact is: the successful implementation of such intrinsic values as work ethic—comes down to the dedication and cooperation of the parents.

It’s almost easier if you’re a single parent because you won’t be sabotaged by anyone but yourself, which is enough to contend with when your child inevitably pushes back at chore-time.

For a “traditional” 2-parent household to effectively impart a strong work ethic into their children, you need both parents to get on the same page.

Sadly, too many men cling to the antiquated indoctrination of male privilege which has created the situation we find ourselves in during these modern times.

And then they wonder why they can’t get laid…

When women are overworked and overwhelmed, our children and relationships pay the price. We sit the kids in front of the TV when they’re still very young so that we can “get something done”. As they grow we give them video games to occupy them, computers and cell phones to “stay connected”. Everywhere you look there are screens to occupy and distract, and now we’ve lost an entire generation to their screens and the fake world of social media.

So many young people today are lacking in values, morality and—especially—work ethic and real-world life-skills simply because parents are simply not engaged.

The Pervasive Disposition of Laziness

What’s more, there’s this pervasive disposition of laziness infecting society, too. Industry is usurping our lives under the guise of “convenience” and for the sole purpose of extorting money from us.

For more on how I feel about industry and convenience, I encourage you to check out this piece I wrote last fall:

Work is Not Gender Specific

I hate to break it to you, folks—but work is not gender specific. The work doesn’t care if you have boobs or testicles. It only wants to get done and the sooner we all step up to that concept—the sooner we start teaching our kids to share to burdens of existence, the better off our world will be.

Women can no longer shoulder the brunt of domestic responsibilities.

This is the 21st century, for Pete’s sake! We shouldn’t have to do it all!

We shouldn’t have to get up early to feed and clothe the kids, get them on the bus, race to work for 8 or 9 hours (or more), and then hurry home to tend the house and make dinner.

Meanwhile, our man is only responsible for himself—gets up, goes to work and then comes home and sits in front of the TV with a beer? Maybe he mows the lawn on Saturday or fixes the plumbing?

But—only after his wife has been asking for the last 3 weeks, struggling to make do with the deficiency in water supply. Only when the issue impacts him is he finally willing to do something about it.

Photo credit: Pixabay

Teach “Life-Skills”

I know there are some really good men out there. Men who are fighting to protect the women they love. Men who are showing up and doing the right thing every day.

I know, too, that men shoulder their own societal burdens—like the unrealistic expectations Disney has placed on them to show up as Prince Charming and rescue the fair maiden. And the wholly asinine concept that men shouldn’t have emotions or feelings that sometimes make them cry.

As a mother of boys, it breaks my heart to know that our society has failed to support our sons’ mental health in this way. In today’s societal atmosphere, it’s almost inevitable they’ll grow into men who are unable to effectively process their emotions.

For the sake of all our sons and daughters, we’ve got to let go of the notion of gender-based work. We need more men to step up and be the man they claim to be.

It’s high time we embrace diversity in work and chores as the basic “life-skills” necessary for our very existence. Whether you have a homestead or just an ordinary household in an apartment in the city, boys should learn how to cook and clean, and girls should learn how to fix the plumbing and mow the lawn. Chores should be a natural part of life for every member of the family, regardless of gender or age.

Our children—nay-our society—needs work and work ethic.

Teaching life-skills and fostering work ethic in the home not only sets our children up for success in adulthood—it shifts the cultural outlook toward work. When everyone participates, work becomes less of a drudgery and more of social convention—an expected behavior within our society. We need to teach our kids that humanity’s ability to work and create is blessing not a curse, and one that should be shared regardless of gender.

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The Bottom-Line

Teaching life-skills and fostering work ethic in the home not only sets our children up for success in adulthood—it shifts the cultural outlook toward work.

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Actionable Tip:

Check back soon for the next piece in this mini-series: “Raising Capable Kids: How to Teach Work Ethic in a Modern World”.

Thanks for reading! I hope this essay helps you along your homesteading journey. If you have any thoughts or questions, feel free to drop a comment below!

Sending love and good juju to you and yours.

Your friendly neighborhood farmer,

Sam

Tipping is not mandatory, but always appreciated!

1. Women are Earning More, But They’re Still Doing More Housework and Caregiving via NPR.

2. Marriage is on the Decline from Axios.

3. U.S. Fertility Rate Drops to Another Historic Low by the CDC.

4. Study Shows Women are Not Getting Married via NYPost.

5. Trump Aides Solicit Ideas to Raise Birth Rates from the NY Times.